change of heart

Her face is shiny with salty moist. Her bed is drenched in liquid that brought pungent smell all over the air. The room is quiet but there is a uniform sound of shaking bed frame if you listen closely.The one she had waited for, are now waiting for her answer with its inhuman limbs wrapped around her.

"I know it's a yes"
"You look so eager just now. I know it's a yes sweetie"

She should have said no, but her throat is clogged by a sharp, invisible lump that would make the word "no" sink forever in her chest. She already changed her mind the moment she realized how deep fear struck her flesh. The ancient fear. The innate response. The instinct to avoid one's demise, now yield at the face of true terror. Her hands are trembling in the cold air but her feet are chained rigid on her soaked bed. The minute tremor in her wrist weaken her grip on the gun but it wrap its hands above hers before it falls on the bed, while kissing her in the forehead.

"I come for the one who desire, I come just for you. I'll take away all your pain sweetie. This is nothing compared to all they gave you. This is pleasure"

"I'm a friend sweetie"

Her lips curved into a smile, but her eyes keep pouring out streams endlessly. She wanted to stay. She regrets everything she wished for, the slow, the quick, the one that would make them regret it if she did. She don't want all that anymore. She really wanted to stay now. She wanted to make it through the night. She wanted to see the sun that she's forgotten how it looks like. The muscle of her neck attempt to twist her head to the window, but the fingers was holding her chin stiff. 

"No-no-no"
"Here, my sweet little imp. Open wide"

Her tongue flinch by the taste of the metal. She rest it on the back of her throat, then the hand helped her to angle it slightly upward towards her palate. It bury its face in her hair, but she never felt it. Never once her head was filled with so much details of her life, faces, places, all played in a clash of fast forwards and rewinds, while her body excrete everything it could as it sensed that it's the last time it would. Every part of her is limp, except for the hand that was holding the gun. She wonder if her thumb would listen to her now, if her saliva would jam the barrel, if she would be given a second chance.

"Now repeat after me, goodbye world"
"Hmm"
"One, two, three. Goodbye world"

"Gooby worfh-"